Soulful confession (3)
Read the second part here
One of the clear effects of the awakening of the Kundalini energy is a spontaneous state of transfiguration of everything and everyone.
That is why I have been working consciously with this ability to transfigure people, situations and phenomena around me, to always see the good and the divine in them.
In one of the spiritual retreats that took place in Voineasa, I was walking through nature in a beneficial state of trance and I stood under a blooming tree. The wind was blowing, so it was “snowing” with white petals over me. I spontaneously transfigured those petals into bright white divine light that flowed in waves upon me, and because of the intense transfiguration, I enter into an ecstatic state. What prompted me to cultivate this state of transfiguration was the description that my spiritual guide made at one of his lectures, in which he said that:
“The sacred is always present in the profane!”
One day, as I practicing asanas for activating Vishuddha chakra (the center of force at the level of the neck, in connection also with the speech ability), I began to hear foreign languages in my inner universe, as if I was listening to a radio station. I heard whole phrases in English, French, Italian, Spanish. Because I was studying these languages in college, I thought my subconscious mind “speaks alone”. But when I began to hear languages that I did not even know and understand, I realized that this was another phenomenon, which involved a certain activation of Vishuddha chakra.
Another time, while I was doing Shavasana (full yogic relaxation) I felt that when I relaxed a part of my body, an intense bright white radiance grew from that part of my body, dissolving it and turning it into divine light. At the end of the relaxation, I was entirely divine white light.
I began to feel constantly and intensely that I am immense, infinite, one with all the Universe, and from here some special phenomena appeared: I heard what people were thinking, I knew ahead what would happen (for example: I knew in advance that a colleague of ours would come home from the market and give us 3 kg of apples, and I was telling it in detail to my roommate before our colleague even entered the building. I know for who the landline phone was ringing for, so I went to tell that person they have a phone call while the phone was still ringing. I knew exactly where my friend was walking through on his way to meet me, while I was still holding a Shakti group a couple of kilometers away, etc.), current phenomena of telepathy and empathy, and so on.
At one point, because hearing what people are thinking is not always pleasant, I kindly asked my spiritual guide to tell me what to do spiritually with this form of clairaudition. He replied:
" - Be like a crystal mirror that mirrors the reality exactly as it is."
Since then, this phenomenon has never bothered me.
In my case, the awakening of Kundalini manifests itself (and continues to manifest itself) in two ways:
1) Extroverted, as a volcanic eruption of maximum intensity (the body moves, vibrates intensely, it makes spontaneously kriya, bandha, mudra, moans, etc.) or
2) silent, introverted.
This energy supports subtly everything beneficial I do and I intend. At the classes and groups I teach, everything I did with those people who participated in them was greatly enriched, intensified and subtly supported by the awakened Kundalini Shakti energy.
When it woke up in 1996, I was in a continuous state of orgasmic ecstasy for seven months.
A humorous episode: I was at my friend's house, in the bathroom, when the vibrations began to intensify a lot. I held onto the sink, which I almost snatched from the wall, because of the strong vibrations in the body. My body vibrated continuously during my sleep, so my friend, who was initially in the same bed with me, went to sleep in another room because she told me that:
"the energy was so intense around you that you could cut it with a knife, and it wouldn’t let me fall asleep "...).
The strong transformative force specific to this energy is present since then in my work as a Yoga and Tantra teacher (my beloved students were winning the national yoga contest) and as a Shakti group teacher. The women in those groups were saying:
"I transformed during 6 months of being in your group as much as during six years of practicing yoga by myself. "
The state of orgasm was my background state, no matter what else I was doing.
The spiritual guide told me not to make love with anyone, until Kundalini is calming down, because no man would resist this intensity, would ejaculate, and that would also affect me, lowering my predominant level of consciousness on the level of the Swadhisthana chakra (the erotic center of force) for the next 200 incarnations.
Although at that time I had not yet received the initiation in Svara Yoga, I discovered, reading the yoga courses, how long the Tattva sequences last, and I noticed that I was doing spontaneously what was best to do from a tattvic point of view.
I was often experiencing states of omnipresence, ubiquity, communion with the Great Cosmic Powers, with divine beings, angelic beings, gods and goddesses of Svarga Loka. I felt like "the wife of God and the smaller sister of the Great Cosmic Powers."
When I started to make love again, every time there were special phenomena (I felt that we did the prelude for 45 minutes, but in fact it was for 8 hours. We were experiencing astral and causal projection states, we were experiencing current phenomena of time energy modification, where my beloved believed we have made love for 1-2 hours and in reality there were 8-9 hours, sometimes even 16 hours. I was experiencing high forms of orgasm and ecstasy, and my boyfriends who were not in the yoga school, and did not have any knowledge of the sexual-amorous continence, became spontaneous sexually continent – being able to experience a complete state of orgasm without ejaculation, not only the first 3 seconds of the orgasm which gets interrupted by the process of ejaculation).
I asked the spiritual guide several times to give me a tapas (a daily spiritual practice). At first, he suggested to me to work on certain attitudes. So I started practicing. Then he told me he did not give me a tapas because "I know what to do". So I went on practicing yoga for many hours a day (basically 4-6 hours a day). But at the same time, I also worked on refining, amplifying and awakening different beneficial attitudes.
Knowledge without knowledge
I have begun to live more and more often for longer periods of time in superconscious states. Sometimes I experience small states, I dare to call them, of enlightenment.
I often experience the phenomenon described as “knowledge without knowledge”, when I know some aspects without having learned about them somewhere previously; but simply that information appears clearly into my field of consciousness. If I want to know something and it is also God's Will, it is enough to “direct” my consciousness in that “direction” and I have access to the information. But the more aspects I discover of the fascinating Creation of God, the deeper I realize that I really do not know anything, that everything is permanently and without exception a mystery to me.
Mental silence, beatific void
In recent years, my mind is more and more silent. Even when I talk to others in a coherent way, I have no thought in my mind; is completely silent. More and more often I enter into deep, overwhelming states of silence. Regarding this state, my spiritual guide told me:
" - Exploring divine silence is a formidable experience, reserved only to those few whom God loves."
Most of the time I am in a state of mental beatific void.
Synchronicity is an integral part of my life.
Sometimes I have the feeling that my perspective is 360 °, spherical.
Inner harmony increased enormously. I still have preferences (I prefer to be with some people and choose to have nothing to do with other people, etc.), but the state of detachment is now incomparably wider.
Inner purity has also increased, which is reflected in everyday life (what I intend, what I eat, what I watch, what I listen to, what I do, what I think, what I feel, etc.).
I have achieved a much deeper state of inner calmness, patience, compassion, tolerance. I understand myself as a person deeper, and therefore I understand human nature and other people in a more profound manner.
As an effect of a spiritual gift received from my spiritual guide in 2007, I perceived and understood what it is like to truly love. By comparison, what I called “love” until then appeared to me like a ridiculous caricature. I have understood and felt that true love comes from God, it is impersonal, transpersonal, and you cannot possess it. But you can let it manifest through you, without resisting it. You just need to open your Heart.
That exemplification of the state of genuine true love induced in me a state of ecstasy that lasted for almost three months. At first, I needed to have someone who was holding my hand when I was walking on the street so that I would not get hit by the cars, because I was living a state as if I was “drunk with happiness”. I also understand how the ego wants to “possess” the love by all means...
Shakti groups - tantra for women
Together with the women from one of the shakti groups I teach, I started a tapas (daily spiritual practice) dedicated to the Great Cosmic Power Kali (the power of time and transformation). Shortly after I started it, I noticed that I was continuing my tapas during my sleep. As I dreamed lucidly, I did a mini-ritual in the astral world, which, as a rule, in the physical world, I usually dedicated it to Shiva. In the astral world, I consecrated it to the Great Cosmic Power Kali. Later, in the astral world, while sleeping lucidly, I began to prepare the materials for the Shakti group, about the various aspects of Kali, and while doing so, I began to experience one of these aspects, namely: "Kali's secret residence is the yoni – the feminine sexual organ". I have experienced orgasm after orgasm after orgasm ... and I woke up with the same state.